Unanswered Prayers

Growing up with two adopted sisters you would think I would have WANTED to adopt.  Lots of people are led to adoption through the need to help a child.  Not me.  I didn't want to adopt.  I wanted my kids to look like each other and know what it was like to have a biological sibling.  Selfish, I know, but it is what it is.  So, as soon as my husband and I got married we started trying to have a baby.  I always thought I'd have trouble getting pregnant since my mom did.  I was right.  Luckily, we got pregnant 5 months after we were married thanks to Clomid.  We lost that baby at 13 weeks and continued to try through almost every method imaginable for the next year and a half to get pregnant again.  Our fertility specialist finally told us our chances were 'slim' and suggested adoption.  I was devastated but really wanted to be a mom so we set out on our journey.

I couldn't fathom the thought of an open adoption.  There was no way I could/would risk a birth mother changing her mind.  A friend at work had recently adopted a little boy from Russia - we decided this was the plan for us.....we wanted to adopt a caucasian child (to avoid "looking" like I couldn't have my own kids - selfish again) and I needed a "sure thing"....which seemed more likely with an international adoption believe it or not.

In November, 2005 - 23 months after we got married - we submitted our application to the adoption agency we picked and started to tackle the mountain of paperwork, home studies, government clearance, etc. with total excitement and the expectation of bringing TWO babies home the following summer.  We decided we wanted to adopted two at once because it's a lot cheaper than adopting one and then going back through all of the paperwork and trips a couple of years later (we knew we wanted more than one child.) 

On February 15, 2006 we finally received our government clearance which completed our dossier.  We mailed all FOUR pounds of paperwork a couple of days later and were put on "the list" as open to adopt two babies under the age of 18 months.  And we waited. 

The summer came and went with no referral.  We had a baby shower for TWO babies in July thinking we'd get the call any day.  By September we were past sick of waiting and decided to change our preference to ONE baby under the age of 18 months.  We kept getting updates on how many families were ahead of us on 'the list'....it seemed like forever.  All sorts of government nonsense made our wait a lot longer than we anticipated.  When we started the process, the wait was only expected to be a couple of months.  But, Russian adoptions basically came to a screaching halt in the summer of 2005 and everything got backed up making our wait even longer.

Finally, on a Thursday afternoon in October we got 'the call'.  Our social worker called me at work around 4:30 and told me she had a referral for us to review....but warned me that the child was born with heart disease and had spent a lot of time in the hospital and even had heart surgery at 5 months old.  So, my husband and I decided to review the referral information objectively WITHOUT looking at the pictures she was attaching.  I grabbed my laptop and borrowed an office for some privacy and waited for the email....on the phone with my husband the entire time.  For some reason, he got the email first....the anticipation was KILLING me.  He opened the email and said, "oh s**t" (pardon his French)....for some reason the pictures were showing in the body of the email.  I think he was done at that point.  Love at first sight.  And could you blame him?  This is what he saw......and what I saw a few minutes later.....

The first thing I said was, "he looks like you!"  We tried to remain objective as we read the information provided, called the doctor at the International Adoption center at Cincinnati Children's Hospital, and talked to our families.  The doctor requires 48 hours to review referrals and give an opinion.  Since it was late on a Thursday, we wouldn't hear from her until Monday morning at best.  In the meantime, we had every doctor and nurse we knew review the information.  They all thought everything sounded great but we still wanted to hear what the international specialist said.  I was in a meeting in the board room when my cell phone vibrated on Monday morning (I had warned my boss that I may have to take the call) so I ran out to take the call....the international doctor had consulted with a pediatric cardiologist and they both agreed that there was no reason they would advise against adopting this sweet little thing.  I think we had basically already decided to accept the referral so this was just good reassurance.  :)

I called Brendan and we decided to call our social worker and "accept"!  Unfortunately, we had to wait 6 long weeks before we could go to Russia and meet him.  He hadn't been on "the Russian list" long enough (another lovely rule) and we weren't allowed to travel until he was released from the Russian list and added to the international list.  If a Russian family came forward and wanted to adopt him at any point, they would be allowed to.  However, given his heart disease he wasn't seen as "desirable" (to anyone but us) and luckily we were able to meet him in mid-November.....and then bring him home on December 17, 2006!!!

Ironically.....his birthday is February 15, 2006 - the day we finally got our government clearance and could complete our dossier.  :) 

Our family has grown since then....you can read about that here......and we couldn't be happier.  Everything happens for a reason .....God REALLY wanted us to be Brady's parents and we're so glad that he chose us!!!