Unanswered Prayers

Growing up with two adopted sisters you would think I would have WANTED to adopt.  Lots of people are led to adoption through the need to help a child.  Not me.  I didn't want to adopt.  I wanted my kids to look like each other and know what it was like to have a biological sibling.  Selfish, I know, but it is what it is.  So, as soon as my husband and I got married we started trying to have a baby.  I always thought I'd have trouble getting pregnant since my mom did.  I was right.  Luckily, we got pregnant 5 months after we were married thanks to Clomid.  We lost that baby at 13 weeks and continued to try through almost every method imaginable for the next year and a half to get pregnant again.  Our fertility specialist finally told us our chances were 'slim' and suggested adoption.  I was devastated but really wanted to be a mom so we set out on our journey.

I couldn't fathom the thought of an open adoption.  There was no way I could/would risk a birth mother changing her mind.  A friend at work had recently adopted a little boy from Russia - we decided this was the plan for us.....we wanted to adopt a caucasian child (to avoid "looking" like I couldn't have my own kids - selfish again) and I needed a "sure thing"....which seemed more likely with an international adoption believe it or not.

In November, 2005 - 23 months after we got married - we submitted our application to the adoption agency we picked and started to tackle the mountain of paperwork, home studies, government clearance, etc. with total excitement and the expectation of bringing TWO babies home the following summer.  We decided we wanted to adopted two at once because it's a lot cheaper than adopting one and then going back through all of the paperwork and trips a couple of years later (we knew we wanted more than one child.) 

On February 15, 2006 we finally received our government clearance which completed our dossier.  We mailed all FOUR pounds of paperwork a couple of days later and were put on "the list" as open to adopt two babies under the age of 18 months.  And we waited. 

The summer came and went with no referral.  We had a baby shower for TWO babies in July thinking we'd get the call any day.  By September we were past sick of waiting and decided to change our preference to ONE baby under the age of 18 months.  We kept getting updates on how many families were ahead of us on 'the list'....it seemed like forever.  All sorts of government nonsense made our wait a lot longer than we anticipated.  When we started the process, the wait was only expected to be a couple of months.  But, Russian adoptions basically came to a screaching halt in the summer of 2005 and everything got backed up making our wait even longer.

Finally, on a Thursday afternoon in October we got 'the call'.  Our social worker called me at work around 4:30 and told me she had a referral for us to review....but warned me that the child was born with heart disease and had spent a lot of time in the hospital and even had heart surgery at 5 months old.  So, my husband and I decided to review the referral information objectively WITHOUT looking at the pictures she was attaching.  I grabbed my laptop and borrowed an office for some privacy and waited for the email....on the phone with my husband the entire time.  For some reason, he got the email first....the anticipation was KILLING me.  He opened the email and said, "oh s**t" (pardon his French)....for some reason the pictures were showing in the body of the email.  I think he was done at that point.  Love at first sight.  And could you blame him?  This is what he saw......and what I saw a few minutes later.....

The first thing I said was, "he looks like you!"  We tried to remain objective as we read the information provided, called the doctor at the International Adoption center at Cincinnati Children's Hospital, and talked to our families.  The doctor requires 48 hours to review referrals and give an opinion.  Since it was late on a Thursday, we wouldn't hear from her until Monday morning at best.  In the meantime, we had every doctor and nurse we knew review the information.  They all thought everything sounded great but we still wanted to hear what the international specialist said.  I was in a meeting in the board room when my cell phone vibrated on Monday morning (I had warned my boss that I may have to take the call) so I ran out to take the call....the international doctor had consulted with a pediatric cardiologist and they both agreed that there was no reason they would advise against adopting this sweet little thing.  I think we had basically already decided to accept the referral so this was just good reassurance.  :)

I called Brendan and we decided to call our social worker and "accept"!  Unfortunately, we had to wait 6 long weeks before we could go to Russia and meet him.  He hadn't been on "the Russian list" long enough (another lovely rule) and we weren't allowed to travel until he was released from the Russian list and added to the international list.  If a Russian family came forward and wanted to adopt him at any point, they would be allowed to.  However, given his heart disease he wasn't seen as "desirable" (to anyone but us) and luckily we were able to meet him in mid-November.....and then bring him home on December 17, 2006!!!

Ironically.....his birthday is February 15, 2006 - the day we finally got our government clearance and could complete our dossier.  :) 

Our family has grown since then....you can read about that here......and we couldn't be happier.  Everything happens for a reason .....God REALLY wanted us to be Brady's parents and we're so glad that he chose us!!!

Happy Birthday, Zachary James!

My sweeb baby Zachary James turned 3 years old today.  I can't believe it - he's getting so big.  Breaks my heart.  Tonight, I was telling him that it makes me sad how fast he's growing and he said, "awww, I think you'll be just fine."  He is honestly one of the sweetest, kindest souls I've ever met.  I just love him to pieces. 

So, Zachy here's what you've been up to lately:

• You still weigh a scrawny 28 pounds - same as your baby brother!
• You're wearing 3T clothes
• You can still wear a size 4 diaper but.........as of two days from now, diapers will no longer be allowed!!!  :)
• You're a great sleeper - you sleep around 11 hours every night and take a 2-3 hour each afternoon
• You still sleep in a crib and I L-O-V-E this....and so do you.  You'll be in that crib as long as you want!!
• You're a very picky eater.  You love cereal bars, french toast sticks, chocolate milk, lemonade, french fries, bananas, apples, pasta, pancakes and JUNK!
• You love bulldozers, the Cars movie, Dinosaur Train and animals
• Your favorite color is red
• You think you're six years old for some reason??? 
• You love to "mother" your stuffed animals and refer to yourself as a mom all the time (melts my heart)
• If a 'stranger' says hi to you you'll say, "I'm shy" and look down
• You recently started referring to youself as a 'man'
• You have the sweetest, kindest, old soul of anyone I know and I can't wait to see what an amazing man you become.  I love you so much - you're a wonderful human being and I'm so proud to be your mom!!!

3 Small Miracles

Well, technically there are FOUR small miracles on our card this year:  Brady, Zachary, Easton and...........I actually agreed to include a picture of myself this year!  ;)  We usually only do the photo card with a picture and message on the front but this year our photographer got a good deal on some card stock and we were able to do a picture on the front AND back for the same price on better quality paper!  I had to come up with a message for the back on the fly (thanks to Google) and really like what we ended up with!  :)

FRONT:



BACK:

It's kind of hard to read but the back says, "May your new year hold many small miracles."  Love it!

Merry Christmas!!!



Poor Santa

Well, we did our parently (is that a word?) duty and made the trek to the mall last week to see Santa.  Brady and Zachary were all about it....Brady's biggest concern was that we would have to wait in line.  Ha!  Luckily, there was no one in line ......but that didn't make it any easier for Zachary and Easton.  Brady marched right up and told Santa what he wanted for Christmas - a cement mixer.  And then we forced Zachary and Easton to go up, too.....and here's the lovely result:

Please note that Brady has a death grip on Zachary otherwise he would've been out of there in no time!  They took two very shots and then I rescued them.  :) 

They were fine as soon as Santa was out of sight and they loved the bells he gave them....

Then we headed to the food court for lunch.....unbeknownst to me, there's a bunch of those automated "rides" there for the kids which was a big hit (and means no one ate)!

Zachy was clearly over his trauma at this point.  ;)

Wordless Wednesday

Blessed

Thanksgiving is my FAVORITE holiday.  It always has been (well, at least since I stopped believing in SC).  So, the past couple of years I've had so much to be thankful for.  I've been thinking about what I've been doing at this time of year for the past 7 years:

• 7 years ago at this time, our house was finished and we moved in.  We were preparing for our wedding (on 12/20) and had my bridal shower here the week after we moved in.  :)  We were so excitied and so loved our house.  I still love it....however, there's just not enough storage space here and I regret not paying the extra $10K for the 4th bedroom!  :(
• 6 years ago at this time, I was still mourning the loss of the baby I miscarried at 13 weeks.  And had been going through lots of infertility testing.  I was getting ready for the "final" test (on 12/13) - the laporoscopic surgery to see if I had endometriosis.....that "test" turned into major abdominal surgery and a punctured colon.  But no endometriosis and still no definitive (medical) answer to why we were unable to conceive.
• 5 years ago at this time, we had finally accepted that we would not be able to have a (biological) child of our own.  We started the adoption process the week of Thanksgiving.  We mailed in our application (and $1500 fee) to the adoption agency we had decided on. 
• 4 years ago at this time, we were in Russia.  We left on 11/18 for "trip 1" and met Brady in person for the first time on 11/20.  We spent Thanksgiving day (11/23 that year) on a plane coming back from Moscow.  We were thrilled to eat our Thanksgiving meal at Burger King at the JFK airport after spending 4 days eating Russian food.  Thirteen days later we went back to finalize the adoption and bring Brady home for good!
• 3 years ago at this time, I was 7.5 months pregnant with Zachary!  And so thankful to have an almost-2-year-old Brady running around all over the place - happiest little baby ever!
• 2 years ago at this time, I was 20 weeks pregnant with Easton!  That's right - 2 years back to back.  And I actually spent the weekend before Thanksgiving in the hospital with a horrible stomach bug that left me completely dehydrated.  I found out that Easton was an Easton (and not a Reilly) the following Monday and kept that secret for 19 more weeks!  Zachary was almost 11 months old and Brady was almost 3!
• 1 year ago at this time, I was still nursing Easton who was 8 months old; Zachary was almost 2 and Brady was almost 4!  Last year was a big one.  We had so much to be thankful for after almost losing Easton when he was only 4 days old.  Easton is now 19.5 months old, Zachary will be 3 in January and Brady will be 5 in February!!

We have so much to be thankful for.  What we went through to start our family was so hard - but I really think it makes us appreciate our family more than most people do.  The struggles we went through made us stronger people and we are grateful for that.  It could have been so much worse.  And we're lucky that it wasn't.  So, this year and for all my years to come, I will think of that.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Weird things about me!

I don't know what made me think about it but there are a lot of weird  unique things about me....mainly things that my "friends" make fun of but when you think about them all at once it's kind of weird.  Here are some examples:

1. I don't like to eat any food that doesn't have to be chewed (apple sauce, jello, etc.).  Imagine anything you could eat if you DIDN'T have teeth - I won't eat it.
2. I'm a control freak.  I ALWAYS drive whenever we go anywhere as a family.  I hate the way my husband (and everyone else) drives. 
3. I don't think that hand-washed dishes are ever really clean.
4. I hate public bathrooms.  I got a bladder infection in high school b/c I refused to use the bathroom until I got home.  :(
5. Speaking of bathrooms, I won't take a drink or any type of food item into the bathroom.  I feel it's tainted if it's been in a bathroom.
6. I won't let my lips touch the utensils at a restaurant....or any utensils other than my own.
7. I hate going to/watching movies.  I prefer TV....especially reality TV.
8. I still sleep with my baby blanket and it has to be touching my face at all times.
9. I can't sleep with pants or socks on.
10. I'm 35 years old and I still call my parents "Mommy" and "Daddy".
11. I have really small hands.  My 4.5 year old's hands will be bigger than mine with in a year or two.
12. I hate massages.  I will not pay a stranger to grope me.  ;)  Freaks me out.
13. I eat my fries with mayo - not ketchup....and my boys have picked up on this strange habit - they dip EVERYTHING (raisins, bread, etc.) in it. 
14. I've given myself shots in my stomach, my husband has given them to my in my hip and I've had tons of blood drawn but I absolutely hate getting a shot in my arm.
15. I love to make lists and fill out questionnaires (hence this post!)

I'm sure there are tons of others but I have to get back to cooking.  Brendan's parents and my parents are coming over for round one of Thanksgiving tonight!  And I'm pretty much making everything myself which is scary - it's only a ham....I'm not crazy! 

 Happy Thanksgiving!!!!